Today’s insult to translators is brought to you by the people who are profiting off the “new economy,” “crowd-sourcing,” “job-sharing,” and other neoliberal strategies for destroying professional qualifications, eliminating all regulation, Â and keeping trained workers from supporting themselves …
… in the person (if it is a person) of Yunik White, the Recruiting Agent for Real TranslatorÂź Jobs, yet another (zzzzzz) internet-based blind-bidding platform for low-price auctions.
Yunik (Yunik? really?) is âDesperately Seeking Translators! NO EXPERIENCE REQUIRED!â
If you, too, have no experience, you could write to Yunik — at a gmail address (yunikewhite@gmail.com) because Real TranslatorÂź Jobs doesn’t actually have an email address for its own business…. Also, all information about the domain name is hidden by “Moniker Privacy Services.” Real TranslatorÂź Jobs wouldn’t want anybody to be able to reach them or anything.
Oh, and Real TranslatorÂź Jobs’ street address — 2063 Yonge Street, Suite 202, Ontario, Canada  — is actually the address of the Academy of Learning College. Also of the Max Agency for child modeling. Yes! All in the same suite! It sure must be crowded in there!
This, by the way, is 2063 Yonge Street in Ontario (click on the photo to enlarge):
You can see the sign on the door for Max Models. So not only is there a “real” translation agency at 2063 Yonge Street, you can pimp your kid out for TV commercials or buy a mountain bike. One-stop shopping!
In any case. Here’s the real difference. Real TranslatorÂź (and isnât that Âź just about the cutest thing you ever saw? Because nobody ever thought of being a real translator until these bozos came along and patented the name) wants you TO PAY THEM IN ORDER TO WORK!
Yes! What a deal! Only $68 to register and then you can earn $92 thousand, $121 thousand, even $181 thousand per year WORKING FROM HOME, just like the actual translators on their site (whose names and pictures are withheld)!
Oh, and Real TranslatorÂź also takes a percentage of what you earn, but thatâs in the very small print.
On the other hand, they send you $397 worth of free guides when you register â such as the helpful book, âHow to Make Money on Twitterâ!!
Plus! Look at all this great clip art!
    
Doesn’t that make the whole thing seem so much more legitimate and real and on-the-level?
You don’t think this might be some kind of scam, do you?
đ” No Peanuts! for Translators 
Goddammit! Translating for money!! What a great idea!!! Why didn’t I come up with it?
No, honestly, let’s find someone who’ll bomb these bastards wirth DDos attacks. Anyone of you hackers outside there willing to do so? You have my authorisation!